Everyone dies, that is the very real truth of life. We don’t always accept it, or think about it, or believe it when it happens. This blog will give you some spiritual advice on how to cope with accepting death of both those you love and yourself.
Firstly, you are a being of two parts; a part that dies and a part that doesn’t. The part that dies is the part that you associate with ‘you’. The ego, the ‘I am’, the creation you make along the way. The other part is the real you, the soul if you will, the part that just is, the self. Don’t get the two confused.
I encourage you to make peace with death, to see it as a culminating event of this adventure called life. Death is not an error; it is not a failure.
You grow old, you die. You have an accident, you die. Maybe you have the best doctors and medicines that you can afford, you eventually die. Death is happening, let’s not beat around the bush. One way or another you are going to leave your body at some point. Some of us live to a ripe old age and some of us go when we’re young, the end result is the same.
I know that not everybody is ready to talk about dying. We have to honour those individual differences in people. But you’re here looking for help (probably) about accepting death, which I encourage you to do. Accepting death is a big part of being free from all kinds of suffering not just the emotions associated with death. Thinking about dying now and making peace with it will ready you for when it does come.
Most people are afraid of dying, of losing what they think is themselves. Or, in the case of a loved one or friend, afraid of losing them. Like there is a them! The being you think you are, and likewise the being you think that your mother, father, brother, sister or friend is, is not the true self.
As Ram Dass would say, “The space suits that we wear are simply that. They are a construct that we have created over time and we call it ‘us’ or ‘me'”. The ego we develop seems to protect us from harm and gives us a sense of identity, until death. Then the body and the mind die, and you are left with the real being that you are. One of infinite light and love. This thought of losing the body and the mind can be overwhelming though, especially if you’ve never really thought about it before. (You are also not your thoughts by the way).
The death of the body and mind are not things to be feared, they are the truest true. It is just another day in this life. A cumulative event. It may be sudden or happen over time, it may involve pain for be painless. Whichever way your body dies, rest assured, the real you isn’t going anywhere. That is the thing to realise and to embrace.
The Eternal Witness
Learn to realise that you are not your body, and you are not your mind. You are that which notices those things. Let me explain. When you notice something about yourself, whatever it may be, learn to look at it as though it is not happening to you but rather the body you are currently in. You must learn to separate your being from your body. For example, imagine that you pull a muscle in your leg, the body has pulled a muscle, you haven’t. You’re simply aware of the pulled muscle.
You know how people say that you are not your job, or your clothes, or the amount of money you have in the bank. The same goes for the body you’re in and the mind the have. Those things are not your true self. The mind gives you the impression that what it thinks and the thoughts it creates, are you. So tell me, who is it that realised that you are having thoughts?
Once you have worked on viewing life, and death, from your true self, from the internal witness we all have, death loses its fear. There are many ways to explore this way of viewing existence; meditation, silence, kirtan, reading books from enlightened beings, and so on. I personally recommend Be Here Now and Polishing The Mirror by Ram Dass.
Allow yourself time to grieve for loss. Respect that it is part of the human condition, don’t rush it. Observe it, from your internal witness. Recognise that the mind feels a loss of another mind, that the ego recognises the loss of another ego.
In time, and with recognition of the true self, you will realise that the person you have lost has finished their work in the body and has moved on. Also, you realise will not be that far behind them!
As soon as you learn to realise that the self is eternal, you observe grief as another feeling to be respected. Like happiness, sadness, anger, joy, jelously, etc.
Things To Remember
- Anyone who ever lived, has died. Expect the same to happen to you and everyone you know.
- This is life, make the most of it. Death is the great leveller and teacher.
- Read about death, embrace it, keep it close. Recognise the body dies but the self does not.
- “I am this body” – Wrong!
- Thoughts of the past or the future are just that, thoughts. There is only now.
- You live with the thought of death, you are not your thoughts, you are the being that notices them.
A little reminder from me. You are more than you think and feel, you are loved and are indeed love.
Realiser was born from a dream to be in a realised state, a state of awaken. To be able to see the most obvious things having missed them for so many years. Subsequently I wanted to create something to serve as an example of how it could be. If only we might spend the time loving that we spend hating. Above all spending the time to be kind to others for no reason. You get the idea. I hope you enjoyed the blog on ‘accepting death – a spiritual solution’. Don’t forget please read ‘Polishing The Mirror’ by Ram Dass. I will travel around doing what I can and would love for you to join me. Follow my path here…