I didn’t think I would one day be a spiritual carer. If anyone ever says to you they are just a carer, feel free to remove the ‘just’ word. There can nothing harder than caring for another person, especially if that person if someone you love. In my case, my Mum. The photo above is my Mum (right) and my nan (Mum’s mum) on the left. With the exception of my Dad they are the biggest influences on my life. My Nan died a few years a go but she got to see how much care Mum was getting from the family before she popped off. I like to think this put her mind at rest just a little bit. When I see this photo, it is them in their ‘hay day’ from my perspective.
I’m 37 now and as a family we have been helping Mum recover from a brain stem hemorrhagic stroke. She had a catastrophic bleed in the brain stem in 2013. For the longest time I was someone that had never seen any real injustice on a personal level. These kinds of things were something that you heard about but never would have to deal with. And coming from someone who spent 10 years as a police officer, I have never seen a bigger injustice than the way Mum was struck down. Going from the person I knew to a person who now fights every day. She fights to move, talk, see, breath, stand, do day to day tasks. That was something that changed the course of my life.
I could write a book on the spiritual changes I have been through (and might) but I will give you the short version for now or we will be here all day. Basically having spent 10 years as a police officer and lived through the aforementioned biggest injustice you can imagine, I have been handed a view on life that I didn’t know was there. I’m not sure how I could have avoided seeing life as I now do but I wouldn’t give it up. It has come at too high a price though that is true, way too high, and if I could give it back in exchange for my mum to be well again I would. Before I finished that breath I would! I can’t, and I wish I could. It will always be a source of great sadness for me, and at the same time the source of my greatest strength.
“Your source of sadness will be the window through which you see outside of your box”
All I ever wanted was for my Mum and Dad to be proud of me, and now I face the stark reality that they will never be as proud of me as I am of them. Spiritually speaking that is a big load off! Knowing that the strongest of people have passed on a world of inspiration and guidance to you (in one form or another) means seeking enlightenment should be a piece of cake now! Being a spiritual carer – no problem (errr).
Firstly, you may be reading this article because you are going through something similar and if you are, my heart goes out to you. Secondly, remember this is a spiritual blog. I might cover the methods and treatments that were used with mum in another post, for now this is about you and your spirituality. The best phrase I can remember that a doctor gave me was “you need to look after yourself before you can look after anybody else” – he was talking absolute sense.
There they are, looking all smug and inspirational.
How Do I Gain My Spirituality Now?
Being spiritual and a carer means let go, let go of the pain and disappointment that life has dealt you this huge blow. Let go of the feeling that unless you are sat beside them 24/7 you are not doing enough. To expect this to happen overnight is wrong. Likewise to expect that one day you will not feel sadness about what has happened is also wrong. Feelings are like visitors, let them come and let them go. Remember you are not your feelings, or even the entity that appears to feel those feelings. You are the energy that observes those feelings. Close your eyes for a second – Imagine sitting on a river bank and watching the water flow by. Sitting there watching the feelings your mind creates flowing by, observe them from the river bank. You are the observer, not the water.
“Unless you look after yourself you will never be able too look after somebody else”
“Caring for a loved one can be your biggest window to the world outside your senses”
Realiser was born from me wanting to be in a realised state, a state of awaken. To be able to see the obvious having missed it for sooo many years. Becoming a spiritual carer is the single biggest thing that made me see life in the way I do. Being spiritually aware, a realised state of mind, meditation practises. If these are of interest to you you are in the right place! If you need help with or information about stoke suffers I checked out the Stroke Association who helped me a lot. You may in a similar position, if you are comment below and tell me, I would love to hear. Check me out on Instagram too!
I’m 25 years old and I care for my 31 year old brother who has schizo affective disorder. I had a spiritual awakening when I was 19 and have been learning and growing ever since.
Around 2-3 years ago I became aware of the fact my brother was mentally unwell to the point of needing my assistance – he’d been unwell for a long time but I more so than my mother have had to be there for him more and more. Cooking, cleaning, etc.
It’s been the hardest thing I’ve had to do. Also the most fulfilling and rewarding on an emotional and spiritual level but it can be hard for me to overlook how other people spend their twenties.
You said you were a police officer which sounds like quite an experience and I’m a little jealous actually.
Sometimes I worry that in caring I’m not actually doing what I should be doing at this age, like I should just be building a career, chasing status, partying, working for myself, etc.
At times caring can be so difficult that I worry that I shouldn’t even be doing it all, surely nothing should be so difficult. Yet the desire to do is always there and if it wasn’t for me I know there wouldn’t be anyone else to do it.