By Ben

How to spiritually support someone after a stroke has been engrained in me.  If injustice is indeed a part of life, what I witnessed when my Mum was struck down with a stroke was evidence enough for me.  To be able to follow the path of ‘no free will and everything happens for a reason’  I was always going to be tested and that thought be challenged.  On the day my Mum (who is the most caring and hard working person you could think of) had a brain stem hemorrhagic stoke and was left with a lifetime of fighting to regain what she had lost I was angry.  Why her? Why at all?  She did not deserve this!  An array of similar emotions.  

Supporting her and my Dad was then and still is the focus of my life.  6 years a go when this all happened I hadn’t had what I call my awakening yet.  Similarly I didn’t know how important spiritualism was to the whole situation and to me.  The single best piece of advice I received when I was spending countless hours in hospital was “to look after someone else you have to look after yourself”.  This is true to this day and these days my self care comes largely in the form of my mindfulness, meditation and loving awareness practice. 

Where does it fit in?

How to spiritually support someone comes right up there for me.  To clarify I’m not talking about chanting mantras by the bedside of your loved ones or covering them in crystals to heal their wounds.  Modern medicine is a miracle and without it my Mum would never have survived let alone made the progress she has since.  There is a far more subtle use for your love than that.  

To bare their pain with them and not break is your strongest power, to keep them going and keep them motivated is crucial.   Your power to do this comes from somewhere deep, from a place of love and healing.  It is the core of every human being and it is the thing that others need in their own time of suffering.  Whether I knew it or not at the time my view on life (that death is a part of life, so is suffering and joy) helped me and my Mum.  After all it was her that taught me that lesson.  

“To look after somebody else you have to look after yourself first”

How To Help

When someone has a stroke they are faced with their own mortality, even in the case of mild strokes (or any similar illness or injury really) to realise that they could easily have died is a game changer.  Putting aside the logistics and red tape of dealing with doctors and hospitals for moment, this is what I did:

The first thing I did was to keep my my Mum going, at all costs.  Keep her moving, keep telling her that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that she’s still here and has a new job now.  Her full time job just became recovering from her stroke, everything else doesn’t matter.  We were down the basics of life now. 

Next was reminding her of all the times she had told me that if I work hard at something you will succeed.  Do as you say, Mum!  Her work ethic over the years was nothing short of fantastic and I had to remind her of that because she had her biggest job to do now. 

Finally, go with her to as many hospital, physio, care appointments etc as I could.  I wanted to show her that she was not alone in her fight and that the time she spend raising me wasn’t in vein, now she had a partner in crime with to face everything.  


The door to change is yours to walk through.

Still Teaching Me

For 30 odd years my Mum had given me everything, without her I wouldn’t be here or the man I am today.  If you fancy the read I have written about my Dad here.  It was time to give as much as I could.  It took my time, my energy, my sleep and a part of me.  She gave me everything in return, even in her darkest hour my Mum’s strength was still giving back to me.  She gave me a glimpse in to a focus and strength which I will never own but could see and be motivated by.  Quite frankly after seeing her recovery from the death bed to standing and being able to give her Granddaughter a kiss and a cuddle leaves me with no excuses in my own life.  My Mum along with my Dad regularly spiritually support me in many ways.


“Your own path is exactly that, your own interpretation of the teachings”

In Summary

Love and awareness will always be the solution, to your own problems and to those of your friends and family.  How to spiritually support someone through the toughest of times I would argue is one of the most important things you can do.  The nature of life is death and mortality, it is what gives life meaning, however for those who have not yet realised this a stroke will be a stark reminder. 

“Remember, you are loving awareness”


Realiser was born from a dream to be in a realised state, a state of awaken.  To be able to see the most obvious things having missed them for so many years.  Subsequently I wanted to create something to serve as an example of how it could be.  If only we might spend the time loving that we spend hating.  Above all spending the time to be kind to others for no reason.  You get the idea.  I will travel around doing what I can and would love for you to join me.  Follow my path here…